grown

I have grown, I have learned some lessons on the way... time to write about them

Man has an innate need to belong, do be driven towards something and to be fruitful in labour.

To be denied all three is purgatory, you are stuck between two worlds, you are neither here nor there, to be denied the hope of this ever-changing is hell. Hope is the giver of life in all situations.

It’s the lack of hope that destroys a man, he has nothing to work for, and nothing to look forward to.

Give a man hope, and you give him a reason to work, he seeks out companionship and he strives toward the goal of a hopeful outcome.

Take away his hope and any circumstance he find himself in becomes an exercise in futility, his every effort is for nil, he exists only for the next brief moment of happiness. Moment to moment he lives, just for that fleeting moment. When life is hopeless little moments of happiness become your life. Then we focus on those moments, and those moments are often accompanied by alcohol. We live for that next hit.

No one cares.

He could not care. There is nothing to live for.

He dies slowly inside

From the poison of hopelessness

I was denied all four.

I was in my personal hell.

• Discipline, motivation (both work-wise and in personal life)

To be in your personal hell means you are free to do anything but listen to your conscience. It’s a freedom without boundaries and that freedom means no commitment, but a commitment to indifference.

If no one cares, why should you.

You are disciplined only in your lack of self-control. You are always on time to the bottle store, your aim is to be home on time to crack that beer, not to work on time , or to the meeting on time or  to your friends – those fleeting moments of empty happiness become your focus, you are only committed and disciplined to world outside of the boundaries that keep you whole and safe – the rest be damned.

Why do they feel it within their rights to take away the hope of one man willing to spill his blood for the cause

Because they fear that man.

Take away a warriors hope and you take his reason to fight. Take his reason to fight and you can push into him your reason to fight, and what to fight for – he will grasp at anything resembling hope. You have yourself a robot willing to do your bidding – a soulless man, who was once a warrior. In the end he destroys himself – and that is the goal

• Longed for
• Supporting, loving relationship with Michelle

Every man wants a bride by his side. Every man wants a woman who loves and supports him. This is not controversial. This is the very nature of what it means to be human. A man and women by decree of the word of God should be joined together, and together they work towards their meaning and purpose – it’s a God ordained union.

Top have a union without love is no union, it is but to ships tied together in a storm.  

To have union without the refinements of the feminine and the strength of the masculine bring an imbalance, there is a goading of the spirit and two spirits in conflict are lacking in that which holds them together. Support, love, trust.

What creates this divide? Is it when the feminine strives to have the strength of the masculine? To control that which the masculine must control, or when the masculine takes hold of the feminine?

I believe it is, it throws what is natural into an unnatural state. When it is a battle of the masculine against faux masculine or feminine against faux feminism there is an imbalance and it is felt deep within us, it is not obvious but it comes out in a constant conflict because one wants equality with the other.

• Liked
• New direction

A new beginning comes with hope. This is all I have for now, and that makes all the difference.

I liked that I realized I need all of these things, I liked that I realized man find meaning in his work, and that work is natural and good for fulfillment. That work is not just in the office, but that work is in looking after the things God cares about. Other people, nature, ourselves.

God told Adam he had to work in the garden, that he had to subdue nature – these still stand, these are part of our tasks that give us the purpose for living. God very nature is that or creativity and work, The bible says God worked and God created many times in the creation of all that we see. God created us in his image and that alone with many other things means to work. There is a deep satisfaction in accomplishment and accomplishment can only come through work, through doing what God has made natural in us, to live out his image – that is where we find meaning, for meaning is simply the expression of what something is. The expression of us is that which God put in us, made us into, his image. Our meaning is to be more like Jesus and to work towards that with the sweat of our brow and the blood of our veins.  And that is to work, to create, form relationship, to support, to rescue, to help, to care, to love, to hold, to embrace and to fight for justice.

• Learned
• Not to boast about strengths and then become complacent about them

I am a man of many weaknesses, and I acknowledge that. I have to fight that which comes from within me, I have to fight my human instinct for gratification of any kind. So often my instincts gave in to the perverse and into the hedonistic, I cared not. It felt good, but inside I was dying and I felt it. So often I have given into that which is wrong, that when I do something right it I think it is me, all my doing. But it is not me, it is the good that lives within me, it’s the Holy Spirit dwelling within me that reproaches, guides and gives strength. So when I boast in ‘my’ victory I am lying  When I fight my instinct, that instinct that goes against the spirit and my inner confidence rises as I revel in the self, but that pushed out the spirit and again, I am prone to the evil that becomes the instinct.